Juice Fast Days 4-5

I'm at the end of my 5th day. The week has been easy compared to my 3-day and 10-day summer juice fasts. Today was hard, though.

Yesterday I juiced three apples and a lemon for breakfast and also ate a banana. Then for lunch I snacked on strawberries, clementines, and apple slices. For dinner I had my Boku powdered superfood mixed with water, and I ate a half avocado.

Today I juiced apples/cantaloupe/lemon/celery/carrot for breakfast, was full all day, snacked on a couple tiny slices of clementine, then made my glowing green smoothie (blended salad) for dinner. It didn't taste as bad as usual. I used coconut milk in place of water, and added some pineapple and a scoop of Boku, and my blender filled two separate wide plastic cups, which I drank slowly over the course of two hours. I'm super full now.

I received my thyroid results. My doctor left me a voicemail saying "Erin. You definitely need your thyroid. Call me." He was out of the office when I returned his call, but when I came home I had a piece of mail waiting for me. It was from the blood lab. I opened it to see what my Free T4 and TSH levels were, and I was shocked. Normal T4 levels range from 0.8-1.9. My levels were at 0.23. This means my thyroid (which controls metabolism and pretty much regulates the entire body), is operating four-eight times slower than a normal person's.

My TSH levels were even more shocking. Normal levels are 0.35-5.5, and mine were 246.28. I'll have to ask Doc to interpret that one for me.

I went to the natural food store after work today and asked the cashier about their thyroid enhancing supplements. He said that most of them contain iron, which supports thyroid function, but after I read the ingredients on various bottles, it seems that many also contain sea vegetable minerals, such as Kelp and Coral Calcium. Incidentally, I'm already taking Boku which contains sea vegetables, and I take a daily Coral Calcium vitamin. I've been juicing almost daily for three months now so I'm sure I get plenty of iron. So I'm not so sure a natural supplement is going to do much for me.

I don't mind taking the prescription Synthroid. I was taking it for 3-4 years, until I decided to stop taking it several months ago, just to see what would happen. Synthroid is cheap even without insurance (about $30/month), and has no negative side effects, and it speeds up my metabolism. All good things. Except I wondered if I could treat myself naturally without depending on modern medicine. I should read a book on thyroids, just to learn about the anatomy and biology aspect. Maybe I've been naive. I'll order a book on my Kindle tonight.

My mood/energy levels the past two days were like night and day. Yesterday my energy was very high. It was sunny and warm, I got off work early and visited friends in Providence and Coventry. I didn't go to bed until 1 a.m. Today I was tired and grumpy. It was raining all day, and even though I didn't have to go to work until 10, I felt exhausted. I played My-Little-Ponies with the three-year-old for just a half hour and was so overcome with fatigue afterwards that I just collapsed on the playroom floor and told her I needed to stretch for two minutes. I nearly fell asleep there. But she was persistent and very cute, whispering in my ear to "pwease" "pway" with her, so eventually I sat up and persuaded her to watch Winnie the Pooh and Doc McStuffins on Nick Jr. in her mom's bed, and I lay there with her, unable to move or sleep, just feeling physically wiped out.

I made macaroni and cheese for her at lunchtime and smelled a couple pieces and was sad not to eat them. But I can't play that head game. I've got 25 days left. Maybe around day 20 I can start to feel sorry for myself and acknowledge my hunger and cravings. But not now.

I find whenever I've lost weight on a diet in the past, I get emotional whenever I go under 130 lbs. This morning I was at 130.5. So tomorrow I will most likely be in the emotional 120's. It's like my protective fat layers are disappearing and though I should be happy, I just feel exposed and insecure. Skinnier does not equal happier. It's quite the contrary.

It's also sad that on a Friday night, I'm home in bed blogging at 7:30, and will likely go to sleep soon, because I can't really do anything social, and even if I wanted to hang out and avoid alcohol and food, I'm tired and moody. Wish I could go have some Green Curry, or even stir-fried veggies with rice. Something that's warm, homey, and numbing to this weather-inspired doom I've felt all day. Oh well. Life could be worse. I could have children to feed or a husband asking for sex. Thank God I don't have to deal with any of that.