I applied for and then turned down a couple low-salary nanny job offers, then quickly filled out the substitute teacher paperwork for three public school districts. I had to fill out everything three times: W2's, I9's, 1040's, and application packets. I met various human resource ladies, as well as a police officer who did my background check. He was handsome and rolled my fingers very gently when taking my fingerprints.
I also tried to renew my teaching certificate in New York State so that I'd have the option of moving back there. But the state of NY won't renew it! They said the graduate program I took at Plattsburgh State is no longer accredited with them. I'd spent days filling out an online application, and in one of the final steps, I was required to enter my graduate program code. But it kept saying "invalid." I spent hours on hold and speaking to various people at the NYSED offices and the college, back and forth, to no avail. I will have to do my master's degree all over again if I ever want to teach at a public school in New York in the future.
On my second week of unpaid unemployment, I got a cleaning job and made $75.
This is week three. I submitted an application to work at a private school for autistic children. I really prayed hard about this job, and I really hope I get it. The school is hiring five 1-on-1 "treatment teachers" and I know one of the autistic children who resides at the center. I know his entire family actually, so they'll be a great reference.
I also substitute taught this week, for high school and middle school. I prefer the middle school. My personality doesn't mesh well with the complacent personality of most high school idiots or the hyped up personalities of elementary school energizer bunny babies. Middle school kids and I get along great. It must be the way I speak in fragmented phrases, and off-topic, incomplete thoughts. Like a weather-forecaster. I'm all over the place. They stare and absorb. It's awesome. And in the end I think they even learn something from me sometimes.
When I sub for a high school class, the kids take out their cell phones and start texting one another. They drink iced coffees and eat snacks, and usually one student takes a nap. It's rude, and insulting. And it doesn't help that teachers don't leave actual teaching plans for subs. Instead, they leave piles of worksheets to hand out. I take attendance and pass out the worksheets and sit there, telling them to keep it down, put your cell phone away, pick up the stick wad. They almost always ignore me. I'm just a sub. I don't even know their names. In ten years of subbing, I've never had a student tell me his/her real name when I decide to write them up. Other teachers have told me I'm too nice and I need to get tough. I don't know how to do it. It makes me uncomfortable.
The way that high school teachers talk, I've noticed - it's as if they wanted to become newscasters. They deliver their rehearsed lecture in a firm, smooth tone. If given the opportunity to teach high school, I think I could develop that fluid and assertive salesman-like rhetoric. But when I sub for different grades and subjects everyday, I just can't lecture spontaneously on any given topic. I can't develop professionally either.
But when I sub for middle school classes I can. I subbed for seventh grade English on Wednesday. The students and I read an essay called "Melting Pot" by Anna Quindlen, and another selection by Bill Cosby called "Was Tarzan a Three-Bandage Man?" I successfully started a group discussion about 1930's New York City and diversity. I told the kids to imagine all the races interbreeding until everyone was the same color and there was no more prejudice. But the kids were upset, and one white boy said he didn't want to be African American. A dark-skinned boy next to him covered his face. I quickly changed the subject and asked the kids what their ethnic background was. All the kids shared, one at a time. They gave percentage breakdowns that often added up to more than one hundred. One very Irish-looking kid said he was part Asian and I didn't know if he was being truthful. Then I made a comment that every culture has it's own unique foods, and this prompted a group brainstorm of everyone's favorite type of Italian pasta. We were all over the place, but ended up finishing the assignment questions and having a great time!
Middle school kids are crazy and happy for no reason. They don't know how bad life can get yet. But they feel grown up enough to want to socialize intelligently with one another. They enjoy challenges. They enjoy the activities I learned about in my graduate program years ago: Activities that the high school kids are too cool for.
I was certified to teach both high school and middle school English when I lived in New York State. But when I moved to RI five years ago, my middle school endorsement was not reciprocal but my high school ("secondary") endorsement was. So I can only teach high school English, unless a middle school wants to hire me and help me pay for the classes I need to take to get middle school certification. It's such a mess. My whole life. I just want to be normal and have a job and a baby like everyone else. And I don't even know where I'm going to live next month. I might sleep in my car and shower at the Y. Or try out the shelters. It's pathetic. But that's where a month of no paychecks has put me. I'll be blogging about homelessness pretty soon.
