Doing A Coffee Enema For The First Time

Warning: You Don't Have to Read This

It's hard to imagine an audience for a piece of writing like this. I will get a few views from friends, but most of my readers are complete strangers who accidentally found me in a Google search. Many will type "Coffee Enema First Time" or something like that. To you strangers, I promise to not disappoint, and to be candid and explicit about my experience doing a coffee enema for the first time.

Let this be a friendly warning to some of you to just stop reading now.

I wrote a blog about a year ago called "Pooping and Weightloss," and it's had over 7,000 views. People want to discuss this stuff. So here I go.

For you, reader, out there in cyberspace, who is thinking of trying a coffee enema yourself, let this blog be a clarification of just how unpleasant an enema can be the first time.  On an unrelated note, I've also used the words "twerk" and "tweek"  interchangeably for the past 10 years.

I've been watching The Big Bang Theory quite a bit and sometimes my thoughts sound like Sheldon inside my head. I think I share his weirdness, but not his intelligence. I am far more lazy and much less motivated when it comes to figuring things out. Except when it comes to colon health.

I ordered my coffee enema kit from the Gerson Institute, an alternative cancer-treatment center known for its success with curing cancer through holistic and alternative health therapies. I ordered the coffee enema kit  for about $20. I was so excited. It actually came with 2 separate kits and 2 pounds of organic coffee. Good deal!

I should clarify I don't have cancer. The Gerson Institute uses coffee enemas to treat cancer. Patients receive 4 coffee enemas per day (sometimes more) for 2 full years. If you are out there reading, and you need to do an enema for health reasons, don't be too scared by the things I am going to say in this blog. Please know that people get better at "holding" the coffee inside their intestines through practice, so it wouldn't be so bad after you'd done it a few times. One website even said "Practice makes perfect."  (Read more here)

How to Administer an Enema: 7 Steps

1. Preparing the coffee: Ideally you need to "hold" one quart of coffee inside your bowels. FYI: There's 4 cups in a quart. And one quart is about the same as one liter.

Boil 2 tbsp of organic coffee grinds in one quart of water for 5 minutes. Stir. Strain. Allow the liquid to cool to body temperature, about 100 degrees. Use your finger to feel when it's warm. One website adds:

"Remember that your finger is less delicate and less sensitive to heat than the mucus membrane lining your gut." Read more here

2. Hook up your enema kit. This involves hooking a tube into a bag or bucket. I ordered a bucket kit because it seemed easier to clean, plus the bucket doesn't need to "hang" on anything like a bag would. My bucket kit had one long clear tube which went into a hole at the base of the bucket and on the other end, I connected the soft rubber tube. The bucket holds the coffee before it enters you. The soft rubber tube gets inserted 5-8'' into the colon. (I didn't realize it had to go that far at my first attempt, but I got it in that far the second attempt. Lube it up with oil. Shove it in there. Breathe. Details on that later.) Pour the one quart of prepared coffee into the bucket.

3. Position the bucket. The bucket (or bag) should be elevated about 18'' over your butt.  I put my bucket on a storage bin next to the place on my bedroom floor wear I planned to lay and do the enema.

4. Get comfortable. Websites suggest doing everything you can to get comfortable. I put a soft down mattress feather thing on the floor, along with some candles, lavender oil (for scent), coconut oil (for lube), my bible (for prayer), and a box of Kleenex. I laid down and massaged my belly and lubed up my tube.

5. Lay in a fetal position on your right side, holding your knees to your chest with one arm, and adjusting the flow of coffee to your colon with your other free hand.

6. Push the rubber tube deep into you, at least 5-8 inches. On my first enema try, I only inserted the tube about 2 inches. I didn't realize how far it was supposed to go in. I was in great discomfort and felt terribly violated at the sensation. I had never had anything EVER enter me back there. For the love of God. It really felt awful. Only a little bit of coffee flowed into me. About 1 cup. I waited the 15 minutes, pulled the tube out (ouch), and went to the bathroom. I decided to do some more research the following day to find out how to get the coffee to flow better into me, and give it a second try.

Well after doing a little more online research the next day, I discovered the reason the coffee stopped flowing into me. It was because I hadn't inserted the rubber tube deep enough. So on my second try, I really got it in there, and the coffee flowed fast! I used the clasp on the long clear tube to shut off the flow of coffee frequently. The sensation of the coffee flow deep into my intestines was uncomfortable at first, and unbearable at the end. The tube itself, however, felt more comfortable deep inside me than it did when it was just a couple inches into my rectum. You must push the tube past the sensitive rectum walls and get it into your colon/large intestine where there is less sensitivity to poking and prodding and flow. I wish I had stuck it in further my first try and not been such a pussy. I was more relaxed my second try, too. I used more lube. I took deep breaths. It went in, and in, and in. No biggie.

7. Prepare for pain. Actually, there is no way to prepare for the pain associated with "holding" a quart of coffee in your innermost bowels. The tips you will read online regarding how to deal with the pain of "holding" an enema are just laughable. I don't think hard drugs could have helped me. It was just out of this world pure agony.

I had spent 10 minutes letting the whole quart of coffee flow into me, slowly but steadily, stopping the flow every 20 or 30 seconds with the clasp, just to take a few breaths and say a quick prayer. It was just as the last few ounces of the quart entered me that I experienced a violent, explosive pain in my guts. I let out a tiny scream, followed by some moans and groans. I completely forgot all the tips I'd read. I forgot to try pressing my thumb into the first knuckle of my ring finger. I forgot to try rocking my knees left and right, I think I even forgot to breathe.

I grabbed my bucket and staggered toward the bathroom door, hunched over like an old lady, and nearly in tears, sat down on the toilet. I pulled red tubing out of my butt for what felt like an eternity, at least 10-12'' of it. I was surprised I'd pushed so much in! I had a brief moment of self satisfaction at the success of getting it so deep inside me, but my attention quickly got re-directed back to my pain and getting that coffee OUT. And out it came. A coffee fountain poured from my loins. I felt ecstatic once it was all done. The pain was gone. The enema was over. I'd held the full quart, even if just for a minute. Whether my ecstasy was a result of my pain ending, or at the sense of accomplishment of a difficult task, or some totally unrelated physiological effect of having a cleaner liver and less toxins in my body, I don't know.  But I experienced sheer ecstasy. I had a case of the giggles for about 18 hours afterward. Everything was funny. I felt intoxicated with joy.  But a couple days later I am back to feeling normal.

Other tips:

One website recommended sitting on a toilet after administering the enema. It said you could actually take the tube out of your butt once all the coffee was inside, and sit on the toilet and wait 15 minutes. I don't know how a person just sits on a toilet with 4 cups of coffee in their ass and "holds" it, other than by an act of sheer willpower. Another tip reads, "Walking around the house with the enema inside is not recommended." And another, "To deal with cramping, press your thumb into the first knuckle of your ring finger" and "don't forget to breathe."   

Some websites are very explicit about the extreme pain an enema causes. Such website warnings are best summarized in a "tip" on the Gerson.org website:

"It happens to everyone at some point or another, especially when you’re just starting to do coffee enemas. On occasion, one may experience difficulty holding the coffee enema for the full recommended 12-15 minutes. Don’t worry; we won’t go into graphic detail. You might experience some cramping, intestinal distress, gas, or spasms that send you running to the toilet before you’ve even managed to take in the full solution."  http://gerson.org/gerpress/tag/coffee-enemas/

If you are scared to try an enema at this point of reading my blog, consider a "gentle" enema. Most enema websites recommend doing a "gentler" warm water enema before trying a full fledged coffee enema. I kind of wish I had tried that first.

Another thing that you might find helpful is studying a diagram of the intestinal tract. If I had just done that to begin with, I wouldn't have made the initial mistake of only inserting the enema tube 2 inches. I didn't have an anatomical understanding of why I should have to push the tube any deeper inside me. No wonder the coffee stopped flowing and I only got 1 cup inside me that first try! I hadn't gotten the tube past my rectum walls and into my large intestine where the coffee needs to flow. When I understood where the tube was going, it made the process less psychologically unbearable. Learn more about the digestive system here.

The diagram showed me the direction in which my colon winds, and I saw that the tube needs to take a sharp left-slightly up-then down-then up again- motion. Like going up the front of a little hill and then coming down its side at a 90 degree angle. Then my rectum merges into my large intestine which proceeds vertically up the left side of my body before making a perpendicular right hand turn toward the rest of my large intestine and organs. Namely, the liver is further north but also on the right side of my body. This is why you need to lay on your right side while administering the enema. The colon starts off going up the left side of your body and eventually takes a sharp turn for the right, which leads to all the other intestinal organs.

Do your own research. There's surely information I've left out in this blog, but you have the basics, and dare I say, enough information to successfully try an enema yourself.

Are Coffee Enemas Legit? 

People have told me not to believe everything I read online. Well, once you read the same thing five or ten times online, you start to believe it. If you research coffee enemas, you are going to find credible sources of educated people giving sound, scientific explanations for why enemas work. I am not a doctor, so a lot of these explanations baffle me, but I could not find one website or source online that criticized coffee enemas. They are a pretty well-respected overall health therapy even in today's modern world of medicine. Hospitals, health spas, and even vacation resorts offer various forms of enemas and colonics for cleaning out the colon and detoxifying the liver.

Enemas have been used for thousands of years, and some of the ancient writings about enemas that I found were like verses taken right out of the bible itself. Here's a sample of the ancient writings about enemas:

 "Seek, therefore, a large trailing gourd, having a stalk the length of a man; take out its inwards and fill it with water from the river which the sun has warmed. Hang it upon the branch of a tree, and kneel upon the ground before the angel of water, and suffer the end of the stalk of the trailing gourd to enter your hinder parts, which the water may flow through all your bowels.

Afterwards, rest kneeling on the ground before the angel of water and pray to the living God that he will forgive you all of your past sins, and pray to the angel of water that he will free your body from every uncleanness and disease.

Then let the water run out from your body, that it may carry away from within it all the unclean and evil-smelling things of Satan. And you shall see with your eyes and smell with your nose all the abominations and unclean things which defiled the temple of your body; even all the sins which abode in your body, tormenting you with all manner of pains. I tell you truly, baptism with water frees you from all of these.”  http://greenvitamin.weebly.com/enemas.html

The ancient dead sea scrolls from Jesus' day, along with writings from the Ancient Greeks, Egyptians, and many other people groups, contain detailed instructions on how to administer an enema (including coffee enemas) and the necessity of doing so for overall health, particularly when battling chronic illness.

 Why Should I Care About My Liver?

Everything we eat, drink, and breathe is filtered through the liver.  The liver can be overcome with all this filth and become toxic itself.

We're more exposed to chemicals now than ever. Next to your skin, the liver is the second most crucial organ in eliminating harmful chemicals from the body. Chemicals are unavoidable. Since the chemicals are everywhere, taking care of our livers via enema makes a lot of sense because the liver ultimately cleans out the chemicals in our blood and keeps us healthy.

The liver breaks down all the nutrients and chemicals we take in so that our body can use what is useable and discard what is toxic. The liver excretes a bi-product called bile which helps carry waste products out of the body.  The liver is the only organ in our body that can regenerate itself, and it is responsible for more than 500 vital functions, such as breaking down fats, producing proteins for blood plasma, storing energy and iron, cleaning chemicals and bacteria from the blood, and sending everything harmful out of our body through feces and urine. Doing a coffee enema increases the liver's ability to remove toxic chemicals from the body by stimulating the activity of an enzyme system called glutathione S-transferase. Two substances found in coffee – kahweol and cafestol palmitate – stimulate this process. Glutathione S-transferase is responsible for eliminating carcinogens from the body, and neutralizing free radicals. It also restores the electrolyte balance in cancer patients.

Coffee enemas have also been known to eliminate chronic pain. In fact, there is a story out there of a nurse who accidentally put coffee in the enema bag of soldiers during WWI, and the pain these soldiers were in after having severed limbs and internal injuries, miraculously disappeared after receiving the coffee enema. Later on, when medical units were out of morphine, coffee enemas were administered with great success at relieving pain.

The liver is basically the chemical factory of the body, and what Dr. Gerson discovered to be the most important organ for maintaining health and overcoming disease. The reason we need to "hold" the enema for the recommended 15 minutes, is because the liver filters about 3 pints of blood per minute. The average human body holds 10 pints of blood. So in 15 minutes, all the body's blood passes through the liver about five times! The coffee enema literally cleans out all your blood in addition to cleaning the liver!


My Bathroom Experience After Enema
If you've made it this far reading, you probably want to know about the bathroom experience I had after holding the full quart enema. It wasn't that gross, and didn't smell or look any different than coffee poured in a toilet bowl would. I basically peed coffee out my butt. The 18 hours of laughter that followed was rather maniacal, and I think it was a weird psychological coping mechanism or nervous twitch that came from what I did to myself.

I'm sorry if you've found anything I've written here offensive. Don't sit there and throw stones when you're hiding behind a glass monitor. You were warned!

Feel free to email me with more specific questions. I do believe wholeheartedly in the health benefits of doing an enema. If I attempt an enema again someday, I will use warm water, about a half quart, and lay right next to the toilet.

Thanks for sharing in my health journey.

Other good websites to check out:

http://www.raw-wisdom.com/coffee-enemas

http://www.peak-health-now.com/retain-a-coffee-enema.html

http://www.healingaia.com/blog-resources/nutritional-balancing/five-elements-of-nutritional-balancing/detox-protocols/coffee-enemas/

http://drjfibrosupport.com/coffee-enemas/ 

https://www.healthbeyondhype.com/page.html?id=18