Day 16
I woke up early and felt really clear and peaceful.
I did some long overdue organizing of my bedroom. I sorted through lots of clothes and made a donate pile. I kept everything made of cotton.
Having only warn 100% or near 100% cotton outfits for 2 weeks now, it makes sense why I was so itchy all the time. No more scented soaps or body products either, unless it's a trustable brand of essential oil. I trust Purehaven products. And since being off sleep medication for 4 months now, a lavender frankincense foot rub has helped eliminate restlessness at night.
I used yesterday's leftover organic carrot juice with some green Naked juice to take my supplements this morning and still have a bottle of tea I'm drinking, plus some more garlic broth to drink. So I've got a full plate today. Everyday really. It's so much more than juicing. I took a hot/cold shower this morning and ate some raw garlic and ginger. Later I drank an early afternoon Superfood Plus drink. It contains seaweed and is so gross but has lots of B vitamins and iodine.
Around 4pm I drove to an inexpensive grocery store and bought 2 melons, 2 pineapples, 2 bags of carrots, a cabbage, a 4lb bag of oranges, and some lemons and an avocado. It cost less than forty bucks and I got four 16oz bottles full of juice just out of the melons, and a few oranges and carrots.
The prep work from shopping to filling 4 bottles of juice was about 90 minutes, and I'll be prepping and juicing the rest of this food I bought later tonight. I need a day off juicing tomorrow and have plenty on hand in the fridge.
Juicing js healthiest when you drink your juice right away and buy organic but it is taxing and expensive. Tweak the program as you need to stay sane.
Day 17
Today I have a system in place. I drank 4 of my 5 pre-made juices before noon. I got started super early and did the seaweed powder (Superfood Plus powder) with juice. Then an hour later, the clay powder supplement with juice. Another hour later, the liver-gallbladder dropper supplement with juice, and finally, the detox supplement with juice.
Exhale. Yes it is hectic and kind of scary to start the day with an awful tasting drink (unless you like seaweed). And then to feed your body certain nutritional drinks every hour or so for the rest of the day.
The book tells us to wait at least 30 minutes between using the clay and the dropper bottles. Little nuances like that are causing me to be even more intentional about what I consume and when. If you're a person that likes structure and routine, you might really thrive doing this.
Reading the book is critical to understanding our relationship with food and how to change it. Again, the book is called " There are no incurable diseases" by Dr. Richard Schulze who also operates out of a company called "American Botanical Pharmacy."
I feel great today but still physically on the weak side. That's partially my own fault for not doing any of the rigorous workouts Dr. Schulze promotes.
I have detox loose tea soaking for later, and I watched some YouTube videos on making sprouts and started 2 jars out of sesame and dill seeds. So those soak until tonight, then get strained and rinsed a few times, then shaken around in the glass jar. I wish I could share a picture here of my mother's 64 oz blue glass antique jar that I'm using for the sesame seeds.
I also discovered I had mustard seeds, caraway seeds, and a few other seeds to sprout. I ordered wide mouth fine straining lids and plan to pick up some jars in town soon. Growing sprouts feels exciting.
Did you know a serving of sprouts contains up to 10x the amount of nutrients vs the ENTIRE VEGETABLE PLANT" when grown? You can supposedly bake bread with sprouted grains, too, and I can't wait to learn.
I also ordered some organic sprouting seeds. A four dollar package of store-bought sprouts can be grown at home for under a dollar. This will be great for getting nutrition in winter as well.
Day 18
I'm learning so much more about the program still, having re-read the book a few times.
I did the cold sheet therapy today and it was rough. I modified it since I was alone and knew there was a chance of passing out. I'll list the steps of my version.
1. Prepare 6-8 cups of warm ginger tea to drink while in the hot bath.
2. Prepare rectal syringe with blended organic apple cider vinegar, distilled water, and garlic.
3. Prepare hot bath, as hot as it will pour, and let it cool down a few minutes to a temperature that is barely tolerable. Add a home made tea bag to the bath (I used a sock) with 1 oz each of cayenne pepper, ground mustard seed, and ginger.
4. Sit in the bath and soak while drinking tea, 20-30 minutes (I got out after barely 10 minutes and tried again a half hour later and was able to do 20 minutes the second time).
5. Grab a wet cotton towel or sheet out of the freezer and use some ice to create a cold space to lay down on for 3 hours, with warmer blankets on top.
A couple hours later, I have a headache from getting up too soon from the cold towels, and I keep getting a feeling like I'm going to wail and cry or laugh really hard. So far just laughter, maybe at the ridiculousness of what I put myself through.
A reminder I have no deadly diseases, and just want to optimize my health. Dr. Schulze believes at the root of most diseases is a blockage of some kind. It usually involves a physical as well as spiritual blockage. This program is designed to dissolve the blockage wherever it may be, returning our bodies to perfect health.
Day 19
I could sleep all day. It's raining. It's Spring. I see little green buds on the branches outside my bedroom window.
It's the first week of May. I watched some YouTube videos with a 78 year old woman named Karyn Calabrese (CAL-uh-BRASE). She's been a raw vegan for over 50 years and looks and feels great. I decided I want to be like her and try a raw vegan lifestyle after this 30 days ends. Assuming I get my energy back. I had so much energy a couple years ago when I weaned off certain medications I was taking and began walking everyday. Then I gave up my health for a guy who liked to eat unhealthy food and also insisted on doing the cooking everyday. That combined with just being poorly treated by him took all my joy away.
Now I have such a brighter outlook. For the next 6-8 months, finding healthy produce options will be much easier. I found a farmers co-op to buy one veggie box a week May-October. I may even be able to get some produce as early as next week. I'm excited because beets are available now and I've been wanting to juice them. I heard that beet and watermelon juice go well together. I know watermelon pairs well with celery but I don't have organic celery and don't trust it any other way unless it's locally grown. I'm tired of soaking chemically laced produce in baking soda and vinegar.
I feel like I've been lied to my entire life, we all have, about the secret to health and happiness and success. The raw vegans I've seen online seem to be living such good, magical feeling lives. They all look phenomenal. Karyn Calabrese even admits she continues this lifestyle "as much for vanity as for health."
Who the hell doesn't wanna look and feel great? What are we willing to do to get there?
Give up coffee and cigarettes? Alcohol? Processed sugar? Well there's your answer.
Day 20
I'm listening to Rosi Golan today and music of the sort. Good lyrics. Mood music. Good for a rainy day like today.
It's 6pm and I finally got up to take a shower. I haven't left my bedroom all day. There's no reason to.
I ate some almonds last night which were roasted and salted, when they need to be raw and unsalted to comply with this program. I seem to have been cheating almost daily now.
Today I drank only water. I will try to do another big batch of juice tomorrow while at my sister's house. There's more grocery stores out in her area and I'll grab a bunch of melons and everything I need to last a few days.
I can mix my juices half with water but I don't have to since I'm not diabetic. There are differing viewpoints on the safety and efficacy of sucrose in the Vegan community. Lots of vegans argue online with other vegans about what the best diet is. But one guy, you have to look him up, "Yahki Awakened" said humans, like birds, eat a diet dependent on their genes and locations. I hope I never try to tell people how to eat, but just support them in eating what works for them. People can all go on their own unique journeys. We learn the best from our mistakes so let people make them and figure it out on their own. If someone wants my opinion they'll ask.
Day 21-22
So yesterday I was too tired to blog. I went to my sister's to babysit my nephew. I stopped at Aldi and bought $96 worth of melons, oranges, apples, carrots, kiwi, mangoes, and avocados. I got chased out into the parking lot by a store employee who said I forgot to pay for a cucumber. Pretty embarrassing.
Before my nephew got home from school, I juiced a gallon of fruits. It took 1 whole watermelon, 1 cantaloupe, and a bag of apples. It got me very comfortably through the day without having even the slightest temptation to eat anything.
Actually I had a craving for a sandwich my sister sent me home with but I waited a few minutes and the craving went away.
Today I woke up and drank the last 32 oz of juice from yesterday and took a 4 mile walk. After the walk I ate a mango and then mashed up 4 small avocados and added some pink sea salt, vinegar, lemon juice, cayenne pepper, and fresh garlic. It's delicious.
Making this much juice takes a lot of preparation. Even though I'll finish the 30 day program next week, I plan on doing another 30 days. At least. I want to really focus on hydrating myself with blasts of nutrition everyday. I'm starting to turn the page but this has been rough.
Anyone doing any cleanse or detox or fast should probably plan on being pretty miserable most of the time. My next read is a book called The Molecules of Emotion. Basically it's about how just like serotonin and oxytocin and dopamine are all visible molecular compounds, so is every other emotion. I've started to consider that even "faith" as it is used to heal people, is an actual substance.
Strong's Concordance defines faith as a "literal substance" when used in the Bible verse, "faith is the substance of things unseen..." and I thought this might be a huge breakthrough in my thinking but my father is a pastor and told me I was wrong.
I'm starting to wonder if maybe my parents have been wrong. I feel like I have to unlearn so many things I was raised to believe about God...
So yeah, that's where I'm at. I think my brain is starting to think for itself which hasn't happened in a while.
Day 23
Another rainy day and I'm still tired but mentally feeling better. I feel I'm turning a new corner every morning now, and I've processed out some very horrible feelings.
Today I juiced more fruit. I got a half gallon of juice out of 1 cantaloupe, 1 bag of cranberries, and 1 bag of apples.
Prepped for juicing before bed is a watermelon and 15 peeled oranges.
The mornings are so much better waking up to fresh juice, even if it was made the night before. It takes fresh juice about 24 hrs to lose half its nutrient load but that's still good enough for me. I wouldn't prepare juice for more than 48 hours though.
It's later in the day... I ate some raw white beans that had been soaking for almost a week. I mixed them with some garlic and cold pressed olive oil and cayenne and vinegar just for some flavor. About two hours later I got violently and threw up all my juice and beans for the day. No more beans for me. I guess they can be extra hard to digest when they haven't been cooked.
Day 24
Today is my last day using thc. It may be legal but I learned my body produces its own form of thc (and oxytocin) and all those good feelings all by itself if I let it.
I brought the rest of my thc products to someone yesterday facing a serious illness. It definitely helps the mind during detox and recovery. I feel pretty recovered myself and I also want to start dreaming at night again. Thc prevents that, and it also makes the day drag too long when I use it in the mornings. It puts redness in my eyes and makes me look and feel tired. It also makes me hungrier than I should be. I'm done with it.
Day 25
I slept so well last night. My patterns have been weird, though. Like I'll sleep from 8pm to midnight or so, then wake up and think about all sorts of interesting things for 4 hours, and fall back asleep when the sun is barely rising and wake again around 8 a.m.
I'm getting 8 hrs but never all at once.
Last year I worked a night shift job 7 nights a week for 6 months straight, and it wrecked me. I had a psychiatrist once tell me that medication doesn't do any good if a person hasn't had a good night's sleep.
Rest and personal reflection is so important when it comes to healing. I learned recently that tumors secrete peptides, and those peptides go directly to the emotional processing center of the brain. There's an obvious connection between disease and emotions. All the bad waves of feelings I had during this fast were those bad feeling molecules literally coming out of me. It's hard to explain to people that you need to feel bad before you feel better, due to the way an emotional purge works.
I've started off the last 2 mornings with straight seaweed powder mixed with water and it's so disgusting, but then I don't get as weak during the day. I have plenty of fruit for juicing, and even picked up some locally grown beets at the local health food store, which re-opened yesterday. I look forward to juicing those with watermelon today.
It's later and I juiced some beets, kale, and Spinach. The juice was almost black with deep red and green colors mixed together. It was very hard to drink but rich with nutrition. The aftertaste was like I had swallowed a bunch of dirt... very earthy. I only had about 6 oz and couldn't drink the rest. I have about 12 oz left in the fridge which I'll mix with some fruit juice tomorrow to make it more palatable. It definitely gave me an energy boost and I'm kinda worried I won't get to sleep tonight. I'm looking forward to dreaming since it's my 2nd day not using any thc products.
Day 26
My energy has improved significantly in the last couple days. I feel like I've had a shift and everything is as it should be. I love this feeling, and have been told in the past that it was mania, a symptom of bipolar illness. But it's not. It's how I and everyone else feels when we let our spirits heal.
I have no cravings for anything. My body feels satisfied and full of peace. My sister and I took her son on a little vacation out of town for the night where we can swim in a pool and shop and get some good rest. I haven't had any thc for a few days and my whole face looks brighter and more awake. I dreamt last night for the first time in a long time. I also went to the dump this morning with a garbage bag halfway full of old prescriptions, thc products, and chemically laced tanning lotion.
It's like a 50 lb weight I didn't know I was carrying has been lifted. I feel reborn.